There’s no Pope at the moment. On the one hand – yay! No Pope! Organised religion is without a figurehead for a while – and don’t come to me saying “Oh, it’s only Roman Catholics”, ’cause blah blah and tell me a more famous religious leader.

On the other hand, the power vacuum makes me uneasy. There’s some kind of big gap under the Pope Hat. Like, in Lord of the Rings, when there’s no king in Gondor. Oh, look they painted our lamp-post black.

Sorry, what was I saying?

George Bush is saying that the Catholic Church has lost its shepherd. Bollocks to that, it’s lost the Pope! Focus on the important things, Dubya! Never mind about some shepherd.