I think I’m going to avoid Live 8. I don’t feel the need to be a part of this particular global event, and if my grandchildren ask me about it I’ll say “Well, kiddiewinkies, I just didn’t see the point. Now go and get me some space milk from the space corner shop.”

I’m happy for charities to ask me for money. Well, not happy, but I get it. I give them money, they give it to people who need it for whatever reason. Whatever good reason I mean, not “they need a new bike” or something.

But this? Consciousness raising? What kind of useless hippy crap is this? Are the G8 leaders really going to write off Third World debt because Madonna does a free gig in Hyde Park? Will it really end the suffering of millions if the heads of state of the wealthiest nations see Bono (practically the 9th wealthiest nation in himself) prancing about lecturing people between lumpen slabs of Dadrock? Actually, that might even add to the suffering, bringing it to people in the First World, too. Which is egalitarian, I suppose.

My feeling is that mass protest of this sort makes no difference. Look at the regular, massive marches against the Iraq War. Boy, that sure stopped us going to war, didn’t it? Oh, no, wait.