I’m so sleepy and exhausted! A combination of too many late nights, too many stuttering mornings and TOO MUCH POLLEN! I want to lie very still for a very long time. Preferably with a troupe of servants bringing me drinks in tall glasses dripping with condensation.

I think it’s fair to say that my bullish attitude to BB has paid off already. Three weeks in and we’ve ticked most of the boxes for “things you want to see in reality telly”. This week’s rucking has been spectacularly entertaining – as much for the “WTF??” reactions of my fellow viewers as for the actual on-screen shenanimaganians. The one downside is their apparent reluctance to remove people from the house. Come on, Big Brother! Let’s start picking these suckers off!

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