Lalalalala, I was making a coffee, having put E down for a nap, when I noticed the pampas grass moving. “Oh ho, there it goes, growing like crazy. Better have another hack at it with the clippers this weekend to kee- woah, what the fuck?”

It was moving. Properly moving. Like… something in it was moving.

Something bigger than a leaf.

Fookin’ snake! I immediately, of course, took a bunch of photos and put them up on The Tweeter. Grass snake, came the unanimous response. Oh, ok, cool. So not venomous, then? That’s good.

What did you learn, Mr Moth?

Snakes are not nearly as scary as spiders.

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