12 Steps


"Oh, hello. You’re new."

"Yes, I thought it was time to, uh, try to. To take steps."

"Well, you’re in the right place, steps are what we take! But we’ll get to that. Have you got yourself a drink?"

"Not yet! Is there coffee?"

"I think- yes, I think there’s a flask near the back of the table. They put it all out for us, they’re very good. I have to say, though, I think we’re all tea drinkers here, haha, how English are we?"

"Hah. Yes, well, I must seem very exotic, wanting coffee!!"

"Haha! We’ll try to put it to one side and accept you!"

"Ahh… yes. Right, anyway, I’ll get a drink."

"And we’ll start the meeting when you’re ready."


"Right, everyone, we have a new member. New guy, perhaps you would introduce yourself?"

"So, hi, my name is…"

"No, no, no names. We say anonymous and so we are."

"Uhh, ok, well, in that case, I’m me, and what do I need to say here? It’s been fifteen days since…"

"You just need to take the first step and admit your problem. Just say it. We’re all in the same boat, no-one is going to judge you, that’s why we’re all here."

"Yeah, you’ll feel better." "True, true." "It’s OK."

"Oh, ahem, fine. So I… am a killer."

"Say the words. You’re a killer? You could be in the Army with a statement like that, could work in an abbatoir. No. You’re going to feel ridiculous saying it the first time, but you need to say it."

"I’m a, a serial killer."

"Well done, mate." "Nice, you’ll feel better now." "Lovely, yeah, lovely stuff."

"There, you see? Do you feel any different, having said it out loud?"

"I suppose. Not sure I really feel anything."

"Hazard of the job. Eh?"

"Heh. Yeah. Right, so now what?"

"Now we move to the… you anticipated it earlier?"

"Oh, how long it’s been?"

"Crudely, yes."

"I’m looking forward to that bit."

"Y-really? Why?"

"That’s when I tell you all what’s in the tea."

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