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Gloomy

Gloomy

The clocks go back soon.  I keep waking up to darkness, soon I shall be leaving work to the same.  Once again we, as a nation, plunge into the darkness.  It’d be depressing if we didn’t have warm coats, scarves and real fires.  We must be cheerful, above all, when the nights are cold and dark.  And so we bring on Hallowe’en and Bonfire night and Christmas and all the jolly festivals which really make us feel good about standng around in dimly-lit areas watching our breath condense out of our bodies.

I am in a corner re Hallowe’en.  I can’t not do a window display involving pumpkins this year, no matter how much I won’t want to bother come Friday afternoon on the 31st.  I’ll want to sit down on the sofa and play videogames, not carve squash into amusing shapes and hand out individually-wrapped sweets hastily bought from Woolworth’s.  But I will do it, because it’s fun, the sort of fun we as adults can have on nights which are no longer intended to amuse us as once they were.

Reclaim the night, indeed.

Oh, lor’

Oh, lor’

I got back from lunch about 10 minutes ago.  There were five of us, and it took them forever to get our order out, about which they were very apologetic, and gave us bread and oil.  Then another bottle of wine.  Well, I mean, we could hardly refuse.  So now I’m finding it a little hard to concentrate on work.  And staying awake.  Still, Friday afternoon.

A great start.

A great start.

So I called Vodafone in a desperate attempt to stop them activating my account – and consequently de-activating my T-Mobile account – until I get my phone (it’s a Samsung Omnia, just like I wanted.  Vodafone had it for less than anyone else ever… even the woman at T-Mobile confessed that there was no way they could offer it that cheap and that she couldn’t believe they were doing it).

No chance.  "We can’t actually cancel that.  You’ll have to pick up the phone from the Royal Mail.  They’re usually good at having it at the sorting office."  Yes, but I’m at work.  "After work." (that wasn’t a suggestion, by the way.  It was just a statement of how things will be)  The sorting office closes at HALF PAST ONE!  I AM AT WORK! There followed the audible equivalent of a shrug.  I want to reach into the phone and smack the surly scouse fuck on the end of the line.  So I’m going to be without any kind of service at all for two days.  "You need to pick the phone up from the sorting office."  AS IF I AM ABLE!  I’m screaming this in my head as I don’t like shouting at call centre people because I have been there.  But, with hindsight, I kind of wish I did scream at him.  He sounded like he deserved it.

So that’s it.  I can’t collect the phone tomorrow morning because the buses are on strike and I can’t walk up to the sorting office and get to work at any reasonable time.  Well.  Hmm.  If I get out of bed at half-six, maybe…  But jeeeesus!  This is VODAFONE’S FAULT!  They didn’t ask me what delivery address I wanted, sent it to the billing address… now this.  They’d better be solid freakin’ gold for the rest of my contract.

I’m in the market for a new phone

I’m in the market for a new phone

Yes I am.  I get a bit obsessed when this happens.  Last time I went with a Sony Ericsson W850i on T-Mobile and, while I was happy to have a nice, up-to-date phone with Walkman and fast web-browsing, it was somehow a bit of a disappointment.  The buttons aren’t very well spaced and the navigation pad cracked within weeks of opening the box.  And it crashes all the time when I’m using Opera Mini.  I think I made my mind up too quickly based on looks – although its competitor for my affections, the Nokia 6300 was prettier but less well-featured so it wasn’t entirely a shallow decision.

This time, I’m trying not to make the same mistake.  Although, to be fair, my main criteria are "touchscreen and 3G".  Now, I know what you’re going to say but I HATE APPLE so forget it.  After that the main dfficulty is finding a touchscreen phone which isn’t a bit, you know, girly.  The Nokia N95/96s are fugly and expensive.  The Samsung Tocco is small and rather lovely but again pricey and might well be for ladies.  The LG Viewty seems ok, but not very exciting.  The LG Secret even *sounds* feminine, though it seems quite kick-ass, features-wise.  The Samsung Omnia is red-hot awesomeness, but it costs a billion pounds.

I don’t know.  I’m going to research a bit more, then get the prettiest one.

I’m too busy

I’m too busy

Sorry.  I shall fling my hands around to demonstrate this ABSOLUTE MAELSTROM OF BUSY IN WHICH I FIND MYSELF.

Now I shall go home and open some packets of food and call it cooking.

More random brain things.

More random brain things.

I just looked at the copy of New Scientist what I bought a week or so ago because of CERN.  It’s issue number 2671!  I make this approximately 51.4 years of New Scientist, meaning it started in about June 1956, which means it is SO NOT NEW anymore.  It’s really OLD Scientist.

If we can’t trust it on something as basic as its own name, how can we expect to trust it on important things like us all being sucked into a black hole and dying – OR NOT?

my arachnoid nemesis

my arachnoid nemesis

I had a big ol’ fight with one of those evil bastard huge spiders this morning.  You know the ones I mean, the ones that grow HUGE and then scare the living daylights out of you as they scuttle madly across the living room – but only once, then they disappear, leaving you wondering where they might be…

I was just rinsing the draining board when I noticed something move by the plug.  Thinking it a regular house-spider, I pulled the chain of the plug and out it scampered.  There’s something about they way they move – purposeful, quite light, and extremely fast – which just makes my skin crawl in a way which a normal, regular spider just doesn’t.  Still, at least it wasn’t as big as they can get.  With this in mind, I grabbed the spider-evicting glass and approached my foe.

Damn his eight eyes, he was on the corner of the sink, not the easiest place to get to.  OK, so I needed a new tactic.  Not taking my eyes off him, I part-filled the glass and sluiced him with water.  Because, as you know, spiders hate that.  It doesn’t seem to do them any harm, but they do curl up in defensive balls, which are much easier to entrap.  Not this one, though.  Hard bastard that he was, he just rode the wave down into the sink.

This, I feel, was him taunting me.  Well, not today, my friend!  I was going to be late for work if I didn’t sort it out soon.  So while he was temporarily discombobulated in the sink I lunged with my spider-glass and, by some amazing stroke of fortune (because I was only half-looking), I got him.  Hah!  We’ll see who’s several orders of magnitude larger than who now!  Or is it whom?  Anyone who can tell me when to use "whom", please get in touch.

Anyway, this ends with him being dumped outside and me getting on the bus to work.  I hope to have more exciting news soon (eg. "Ooh, I bought an umbrella that automatically retracts!"), but that’s it for now!  See you later. xx

Minibreak.

Minibreak.

Sorry, been ages.  Been on holiday.  Been to Norwich – it was our first anniversary, so we pretty much looked at places we haven’t been to and went to one.

So what’s Norwich like?  Well, it’s very pretty, as it happens*.  Small, but that’s half a decade in London for you.  All places that aren’t London seem these days.  I’m just kidding; I’m sure Tokyo is a perfectly reasonable size.  Anyway, yeah.  We walked, we rode open-topped buses like SHAMELESS TOURISTS, we took boat tours of the Broads, it was great.

We had a lovely hotel room, though I’m not sure about no shower curtain and parquet floor.  Well, feh, we don’t have to live with their damp-proofing.  We actually felt a bit constrained by our proposed three-night stay and ended up there for four nights, which was lovely and oddly made the holiday 50% more relaxed for a simple 33% increase in time, or something.  I’m not sure about the maths, someone else work it out.

So that was our first anniversary.  Or, to look at it another way, our sixth.  We’re over half way to ten years!  You know, I think we might just be right for each other…

*Though, true to stereotype, at times the denizens made you feel a bit like you were wandering through the set of David Lynch’s new adaptation of Shadow Over Innsmouth.