I did my mine canary impression for Alien vs Predator, and I’m still tweeting, just about. Not about the film, but generally. You know. Tweet. Tweet.

So how you been? Personally, I’ve been pretty okay. I made some sort of biscuity things last night and they were quite nice. That’s definite. Nice. We cooked chinese food on Saturday and the damn fish paste we made won’t come out of the blender, which is lovely as you’d imagine. I managed to need to change shirts twice that evening, which means I’m clearly very messy (ice cream first, chicken stock next). Well done, that moth! Flppy made spring rolls (yep, made) while we searched the inter-web for holiday homes in Whitby, which is where we’re going next year with her family. It should be fun, I haven’t had a holiday in years.

I’m currently in a writing sort of mood, and I have a big idea finally starting to make sense in my head, which is always pretty exciting. Whether it’ll make sense when I shove it into Final Draft is another question entirely, but the process is always… um, well, actually it’s always a slog and a frustrating one at that. So we’ll see.

This post marks the second anniversary of Moth and Flapjack. No flowers, please. We don’t have enough vases*.

*Not true, we have a million vases

So I went home over the weekend. Well, that is to say I went to visit my parents. Odd phrase, that. “I went home”. I’m 27, I rent a room and I live day to day with my girlfriend. My home is London now, no doubt about it. But back with my parents.. that’s, I suppose always home to everyone.

Sorry, tangent. There are an awful lot of dogs there. It’s like dog-a-rama. And they’re mostly huge. 2 borzois (6 months old and already they’re bigger than Chloe, the whippet) and Ed the Enormous Alsatian. German Shepard. I don’t know, what’s the preferred nomenclature? Anyway, most of the time you’re drowning in dog, but it’s always good to see the folks, even if it was only quite a short time. Very short. Watched I, Robot at the Kinema, which is always fun even if the film is a bit shite.

Oh, yeah, it was my last day at work yesterday. I got a card signed by everyone, and a present and a collection of cash and lunch bought for me and it was lovely and everyone was very sweet. I’ve never really had that in a long-term job – either it was like Unipart and we were all leaving or it was OnDigital and I just flaked the fuck out of it and didn’t come back. So that was actually quite touching.

Hmm.. this pret chocolate cake had mayonnaise in it. Didn’t taste like it. Tasted like cake. Bloody hell, I needed that cake. Cake cake cake. I think the word is about to lose all meaning. Cake. Oh, there it goes.

Well, that’s today’s update. Not really worth it, but I felt the need to talk about cake. Coming soon – Rice Pudding!

So, it was fire drill today. We got the warning about 3 weeks ago, then the fire-wardens got their orange jackets out yesterday, so we were ready. Got out to the car-park quickly and easily by the simple expedient of actually opening the fire exit doors (“No-one’s done that before..” “Well, the worst that can happen is that the fire alarm goes off”), and was followed out by our chief executive. If I were a lifer here, that’d probably be brownie points.

There are trees shedding their leaves here. I’m sorry, is it autumn already? What happened to summer? I don’t tend to pay any heed to human commentary on such matters, but the trees… well, you’d think they knew..

One man’s epic struggle to not be grossed out by the other inhabitants of the house he lives in…

So this morning I walked into the bathroom and felt something in the mid-thigh area. Without my glasses on, I couldn’t tell what I’d walked into, but I could guess. Yup, there it was, a web across from the basin to the radiator (which is always on! Does it know it’s summer?), with the little Isambard Kingdom Brunel sitting in the middle wondering who was trying to break through its masterwork. So I backed up, got a glass and a piece of card and disposed of the master constructor.

I’m getting better. A year ago that would’ve freaked me out so badly I’d be shuddering and swiping at my legs all day. Today it’s a humorous anecdote for my blog. I’m not saying I like them. I don’t think that’ll ever happen. But I think I might start tolerating them. Why, just yesterday I had a shower with one hanging over my head.

In non-spider-related news, um… Oh, yeah, I’m going to visit my parents soon, for the first time this year. Not sure about the two new borzois, but it’ll be nice to see the folks and Ed again.

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Summer in the city at last. Turn your face to the breeze, put on Soldier Girl and you could very well experience feelings of bliss.

I’m afraid I am Vacuum, the first horseman of the spiderpocalypse.  Much as there is a general desire in the household to not kill them, they need to be shown who’s boss.  Or, at the very least, they have to get out of our faces.  I vacuumed about a dozen out of the front hall (a space about 1×2^m) the other day.  There are now 4 or 5 in there, and I just don’t know where they come from.

There is no alternative.  They’ve got to go, and I’m way too afraid of them to go round to each and every one with a cup and a piece of stout card.  I can cope one at a time (just), but en masse… no.  I’m also going to give the outside of the house a good sweeping down with the broom.  They’re not doing this to the other houses!  Do they own the arachno-freehold, or something?