[Bored-sounding salutation]
[Observation about weather]
[See online catalogue for pfft text]
[Excited memory of interesting thing]
[Not-very interesting thing]
[
The sun’ll come out tomorrow
or today, if we’re lucky. Hello, sun. Oh, it’s going in again.
I think my yucca plant might not need his woolly hat for much longer. Yes, he has a hat. Yes, he’s a he. Stop it.
Calendar
Tetsuo! Calendaar!
Heh. Sorry. Joke for nobody. Anyway, I told you I’d bring you updates on the calendar mottos as the year progressed. Today says "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance." Now, this fails on two counts for me. 1) Education is, until university, free. Well, unless you look at taxes and stuff, but that’s so sublimated into day to day expenditure that, for all intents and puposes, education is free. As it should be, of course, like healthcare and porn. 2) Ignorance is also free. I can get ignorance at no cost whatsoever from pretty much any resource. The interspazz, the office I work in, the streets I walk down. It’s all there for the taking. I think the motto may be attempting to imply that it has some sort of knock-on detrimental effect, but can I measure that in pounds, shillings and pence? Or groats?
I cannot.
Stupid calendar. Just tell me what day it is!
Friday!
Maybe I’ll take the window seat for the afternoon. It’s sitting next to me, all available and that. I can cast my gaze down upon the passers-by and rue being in a stuffy old office.
Maybe that’s worse, now I think about it. At least here i don’t have to look at the outsiders, swanning about in their coats (and where’s my coat? Not been despatched yet! it will be *spring* by the time I receive my bought-for-winter coat) and looking like they’re enjoying the brittle February sun.
Hah!
Amber Benson theory proved correct.
Officially a bit terrified
Yes, so, Twitter. Fun! One of those short-lived obsessions for me, probably. I get those. But who knows? I still blog.
But it’s the weirdness of having actual, factual famous people on there, all chatting away like they’re normal. Which, of course, they are. But still! This morning I was messaged by Yoko Ono! Okay, it was an automated message, but OMG! She broke up the Beatles – she’s, like, my hero! And the real Amber Benson is following my posts, which is fucking nuts because she’s got like thousands of people following her and she’s only following a couple of hundred. What made my profile stick out? Or, you know, maybe she just follows everyone who follows her for a little bit to see if they’re mentals or not. I think, given my posts today, she’ll not only not follow now but actively block me.
But, you know, suddenly you don’t feel like your posts are very interesting. "Watered yucca plant" "Excel just crashed". Until you look at what everyone else is posting and you realise that it’s all exactly the same, more or less. No-one is twittering earth-shattering news. It’s all watered yuccas and crashing software. It is – for now – a great leveller. When my posts about wanting a hat are given the same weight as Jonathan Ross talking about interviewing Morrissey or Yoko Ono announcing some charitable event or whatever.. well, that’s a good day for the internet.
Twits.
Hello. I’ve added Twitter to the sidebar. I hope this doesn’t mean I abandon proper blogging, but you know what I’m like.
…–…
The other day I saw someone breaking up via text. Their partner told them that they meant what they said on Facebook and it was really hard to pull away from him. He asked where they went from here. It was all very touching to see, even if I was massively invading his privacy. It’s good to know that cliches survive technological advances. He seemed quite young – well, he was breaking up with someone who dumped him on Facebook via texts from his iPhone – so I’m sure he’ll find someone right for him later. It can take time.
Then this morning I saw someone writing out a text. I thought they were telling their boss that the transport system was buggered – I saw the word "transport", or thought I did. Then she flicked through her dictionary and found the right word. In the end the SMS read "The Rampant Positions Galore Diet 😉 x x". heh. I hope that wasn’t to her boss, after all.
Respectable member of the community
Further escalation of the ladder of respectability. Following my acceptance by Vodafone and T-Mobile (though not in that order) for a mobile phone contract, I last week thought to myself "Maybe I’ll try for a proper bank account. You know, with an overdraft and something other than a Mickey Mouse Electron card".
Imagine, gentle reader, my delight when an envelope dropped through my door this week welcoming me to my new Current Account Plus with the Co-Operative Bank. Good on yer, guys. You can trust me. Now hand over that Visa Debit card!
I feel like my rehabilitation from the crazed fugitive-from-justice to a decent, upstanding member of society is almost complete. Just one more thing I need to do…
2009
Oh, yeah, happy new year. I forgot. Well, you know, Christmas, New Year, Birthday, it all rolls into one for me. Yeah, that’s right it was my BIRTHDAY and YOU FORGOT. Except if you didn’t, in which case thanks for the card!
I now have two calendars on my desk – one an A4-size at-a-glance and the other is a tear-off day at a time job with an "on this day in history" fact and a little motto at the bottom of each day.
Today in 1995, Peter Cook died. That’s cheery. "Kindness consists of loving people more than they perhaps deserve". That’s a bit grudging. I’m not sure I like this calendar. I’ll keep you up to date on those, see if they get better.
A lot to look forward to this year, eh?